Learn to Love Yourself

Updated: 09/13/2022 – Think of the strongest bond that you have with someone else in life. Is it between you and your significant other, your child, or maybe with your mother? How would you describe the love that you have for that person? All-encompassing? Never-ending? You can learn to love yourself in that manner too!

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learn to love yourself banner over smiling woman with heart hands

Learn to Love Yourself

Self-love is appreciating and being happy with who you are. It is forgiving yourself, treating your body and soul with respect, and believing in your inner voice telling you to follow your dreams.

When you love yourself, you accept yourself for who you are, warts and all.

Self-love also comes with the knowledge that we should remain open to, and deserve to, have the best that life has to offer.

Another reason to learn to love yourself?

Loving yourself brings confidence. It is knowing your own mind and believing in yourself.

It also brings happiness.

But it also allows you to open yourself up to others, and share your happiness.

Think about the oxygen mask dropping from the ceiling on an aircraft. You are told to put yours on first before you try to help others. Taking care of yourself gives you what you need to help others.

How can you help others to feel happy and loved if you don’t experience it yourself?

Accepting Myself

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

– Brene Brown

When I was in my mid-thirties, I went through a divorce. It was a very turbulent time in my life.

Through therapy, I was able to take an inventory of my life. I found out many things about who I am – and who I wanted to be. And with each revelation, I made the decision to either love that aspect of myself or make a change.

I came out on the other side, without the extra baggage that was of no use to me, but finally loving and accepting who I am and the person I am meant to be.

But also with the courage to make changes in areas where I wanted improvement in my life.

How to Learn to Love Yourself

Unfortunately, not everyone takes the time, to look at themselves under a microscope, to discover who they really are.

So, how much time and effort do you put into loving the person who looks back at you in the mirror?

If you are thinking, not much, keep reading for some ideas on how to learn to love yourself.

1. I Love Myself Because…

” I love myself because_____________”, fill in the blank. Because… I have nice hair, I’m a great dancer, I’m super smart, or I earn a good living? There are so many answers that you can use to finish the sentence.

But let’s ask the same question about the special person in your life that you love above all others. Why do you love her/him? Is it because of outward appearance, an achievement, or what they do for a living?

I’m sure that the answer is no to all of the above.

I would expect to hear such responses as “she is beautiful inside and out, she’s kind and generous, or he’s so strong and makes me feel safe”.

Do you see the difference? We can see the beauty in others but have difficulty seeing the same things within ourselves.

Now, try to complete the statement again: “I love myself because __________________.” And look beyond the surface to your inner being.

Take some time to assess the inner qualities that you possess.

Learning to love yourself includes appreciating the things that make you wonderfully unique.

2. Self Care

Self-care encompasses both physical and mental well-being.

First, we all know the importance of keeping ourselves healthy. That includes eating nutritious food, avoiding abuse of alcohol and drugs, and getting the right amount of exercise.

While I’m sure that you understand how to do all of this, are you regimented enough to follow healthy guidelines? Many of us are not.

The second part of self-care is caring for our mental health. Monitoring stress, dealing with bouts of depression, addiction struggles, or chronic lethargy are just a few of the many issues that affect our mental well-being. If these concerns are not addressed, they will take a toll on your quality of life.

So why is taking care of ourselves so difficult? We get busy, we do not make ourselves a priority, or we’re just too tired to make the effort – so many excuses!

Just small modifications incorporated into our lifestyle, such as cutting back on sugar intake or taking a 15-minute walk after dinner every night will make a huge impact on our overall feeling of wellness.

So a big key to learning to love yourself is taking care of your whole being, both inside and out.

3. Bring Happiness Into Your Life; Learn to Love Yourself

Sometimes we get stuck in life. We can get bored and unfocused. And if we allow these feelings to go unchecked, it can lead to much unhappiness where nothing seems right – our job, our appearance, our relationships.

When you begin to feel this way, make sure that you recognize and acknowledge it. That’s when you can do something about it.

Make a conscious effort to break out of some of your normal routines and do something different; do something nice for yourself.

  • Find a local class or an online learning site if you’ve always wanted to learn a second language or how to paint.
  • Enjoy a walk in the park at lunchtime or treat yourself to an ice cream cone on a hot day.
  • Get your nails done or try a new hairdo.

And you know what? You don’t have to wait until you feel down and out. Incorporate happiness into your everyday life by doing things that you enjoy.

And when you’re happy it’s easier to learn to love yourself.

4. Live in the Present to Love Yourself

Do you often think about things in your past? I’m talking particularly about the negative aspects of your life’s history.

Maybe you found it difficult to make friends in school. Your parents didn’t support your dreams. Or you were fired from your last job.

Important things to remember about negativity in your past:

  • All of that is over now.
  • You can’t rewrite history.
  • The past can only create unhappiness if you continually dwell on it.
  • Your past does not have to define you and doesn’t have to mold your future.
  • Forgive yourself. Leave it in the past and move on.

So, put the negativity behind you, live in the present moment, and look forward to your future as you learn to love yourself.

5. Love Yourself; Celebrate Your Uniqueness

There are so many beautiful people on TV. We follow them on social media and soak up all of their tips on style, skincare, and weight loss.

And sometimes we even act on those tips. We purchase the products that the stars endorse because our skin will be flawless, our bodies svelte, and our cutting-edge style will be the envy of our co-workers.

Then disappointment sets in because the products didn’t do their job.

And besides that, it just takes too much effort to change.

Trying to emulate others very often becomes boring after a while; it gets tiring when trying to be someone we’re not.

Instead, stop wasting your time and embrace who you are!

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

– Oscar Wilde

What about this option: take what you have and improve on it to make you the best you can be?

With some work, the chances are good that you can fit into that smaller size dress by the time your class reunion rolls around. Or you can compete in a talent show by practicing your jazz routine. And you can get that promotion by becoming a superstar in the customer service department.

Every one of us is unique. And the sooner you realize that you can embrace the things that you love about yourself and make the changes you want, you become the best version of yourself

And don’t let others’ opinions sway you. Yours is the one that matters the most.

So go ahead! Embrace your uniqueness and own it! And learn to love yourself!

6. Keep Promises to Yourself

When learning to love yourself, you must learn to keep promises you make to yourself.

I know what you’re thinking, “I always deliver on what I promise”.

And yes, that may be true when talking about promises to others.

But think about the time that you told yourself that “this time I’m going to stick with my healthy eating habits”. Or “I will get to the gym three times a week”. “I’m going to leave the job of ten years because there’s no future there”, ….yet you’re still there.

You could actually be at the point where it’s easy to lie to yourself because your promises mean nothing. They are something that rings hollow in your head so you pay them no mind.

From now on, make a conscious effort to be honest with yourself. If you say it, mean it. And follow through.

In order to no longer lie to yourself, you have to change this habit and replace it with a new positive one. Here is a post that will give you some ideas on how to do this.

You are Important!

Ensure that you’re satisfying your own needs as you tend to the needs of others. You know that everyone in your life is important, and that includes you!

So learn to love yourself.

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“Learn to Love Yourself” worksheets

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